Gaming

Probably the best thing to come out of Australia since Kylie Minogue... although marred by a few niggling issues.

Long story short, you play Crypto, some "bad ass" (god that expression is cheesy) extra terrestrial from the arse end of the universe, and you are tasked with invading the earth by way of a series of wonderfully absurd and distinctly mad missions set in 1950s B movie America. The game is free roaming à la Grand Theft Auto, but there the similarities end.

As you're dropped off in the mission area you are given a mission objective that must be completed before you can go about your business of your own accord. The objectives themselves are the usual affair, mainly involving icing a certain member of the general populace or getting somewhere in particular within the time limit, nothing too taxing... or challenging... which is a shame really. Additionally, contrary to the open-endedness of the gameplay dynamic, none of the objectives are particularly open, thus you will mostly find that you can only do things one particular way and any attempt at deviation will ultimately end in mission failure.

Unfortunately the game is tragically short. I have now had "D.A.H." in my possession for a mere 9 hours and have already cleared the story campaign... and that was with tea breaks in between. On the plus side I think the story played out about as far as it could have and any attempt at lengthening it may well have cheapened the plot and bored the player to tears.
Fortunately to combat this "quality-over-quantity" madness Pandemic have introduced a series of unlockables that you attain through completion of certain tasks, for example - collecting all the probes in a certain mission area. Although these tasks do add to the longevity of the game (thank god) I'm left questioning the fun factor of running over old ground again and again, looking for these tiny probes just so I can unlock something new... baring in mind that these something new(s) don’t tend to add to the longevity of the game and mostly consist of old B-movie clips, which are fun to watch the first time, but soon become utterly pointless.

To aid you in the monumental task of global domination Crypto is given access to a veritable glut of weaponry and skills, all of which have different and interesting effects. Your basic shooter is the Zap-O-Matic, a sort of electricity gun that fires bolts of chain lightning... not very exciting, but it does the job. The other weapons include anal probes (not as fun as it sounds), disintegrator rays (basic automatic firearm) and the mighty Ion Detonator (a grenade launcher... but without the gore). All the weapons do the job well and are fun enough to use, but aren't terribly original, barring the Anal Probe... which is about as effective as a three legged grey hound, only slightly funnier to watch.
Much more satisfying are your Psychic abilities, which include Hypno Blast (hypnotises people into doing stuff), Psychokinesis (manipulation tool - can pick people up and throw them about the place), Cortex Scan (mind reading) and finally Brain Extraction (make heads explode, collect the brains).

Some of these skills are unfortunately underused, none more so than that of Hypno Blast. Your only two options for Hypno Blast are Sleep, which makes your target sleep... like dur... and Distraction, which causes the target creature to act in an absurd way to divert attention away from you. The latter is pretty funny the first couple of times and even manages to raise a smile at the later stages, but I was always left feeling that this skill hadn't been pushed quite as far as it should have been.
Psychokinesis will probably be your most used skill and fortunately is the most fun to use. Utilising the "Havoc" physics engine Pandemic have coupled the lifting-people-and-throwing-them-about-the-place skill with rag-doll physics and some hilarious one-liners to create a wholly satisfying experience that will keep you smiling and (most importantly) engaged right through the game.

Should you become bored with your conventional weaponry and skills, you are more than welcome to literally level the playing area from the safety of your flying saucer, although it's not nearly as much fun as manipulating the populace up close.
There is a bit of a problem here, regarding the camera for the flying saucer, which is fixed... which is bad. All too often you will end up getting hit in the rear by a particularly malicious anti-aircraft rocket, which will annoyingly take off nearly half of you health. Unfortunately this can cost you quite dearly in the later stages of the game.
In a way, the saucer bits are remnant of the muchly-enjoyed classic Desert Strike (some of you younguns may not remember this one), which is great from a nostalgia point of view (no pun intended) but bad from a technical standpoint.

Once your initial mission is complete in any one game area, you are then free to roam the city causing as much havoc as you like, but this gets boring real fast. To prevent destruction fatigue Pandemic have included a series of mad side missions per level, that, while initially fun, don’t tend to stand up as a game in their own right, unlike GTA's side missions, which you can play for hours. Also, the side missions are far too few and chances are you'll only find about three per mission area, which is tragic, especially when you consider the size of the game world.

Graphically the cartoony look and feel of the game fits well, but lacks detail. The cityscapes are quite large and even intricate in places, but as stated before lack any real detail. Some areas are quite nice, special mention goes out to Rockwell's night sky and town fair. Unfortunately weapon effects are a little bland as are some of the character models. Still, you won't mind, as the emphasis of the game is humour and not detail, thus you will more than likely let the lack of detail slide without complaint.
Unfortunately all the six maps available look and feel very similar, barring Union Town, which is a grungy 1940s Chicago-style map. The rest comprise mostly of "Hicksville USA" and all feel very similar to one another. Some Alien maps or even maps set in other countries would have been great and would have prolonged the shelf life of this game immeasurably, even if they didn't tie in directly with the actual story.

The music is of a truly excellent quality, and thankfully Pandemic have decided to leave B movie standard wibbles and drones behind in favour of "inspired by" pieces, that have all the style and drama without any of the cheesyness. Unfortunately there is a lack of variety, but the music is so good that you won't really notice.
Regarding sounds, well there isn't much to write home about, so to speak. The sound effects do the job but aren't exactly superb.

So I'm left in two minds about this game. It's charming and funny enough to warrant a look by any and all gamers, casual, hardcore or otherwise. There is plenty of fun to be had here. The Psychokinesis skill coupled with the intriguing physics engine does lead to some interesting comedy moments (just try picking up a Majestic car as the agents get out, then dropping it on their heads as they go to stand up :P), although I doubt these comedy moments will last very long and really aren’t a replacement for actual gameplay, which is unfortunately lacking any quantity in this title.
The extras are great and should they be coupled with a longer game experience this would be a worth addition to any gamers collection, but they're not, and they don’t really stand up on their own at all. For what it's worth though, the B movies included are fun to watch the first time, and the making of movie was... humorous...

91/100

Casual gamers will love this title. Hardcore gamers will be left feeling annoyed and unfulfilled. Everyone should at least rent this one, but buying should be left to those of you with a short attention span.