Conker: Live & Reloaded

There's more violence, more lewdness, more game-modes (specially so thanks to Xbox: Live), and f*ck*ng sh*t-loads more swearing.

For those of you unfamiliar with the rude & lewd furry-dude; allow me to fill you in...

Conker's a drinker. He likes the booze, and in the first game this is learnt from the outset, as your first ever task in that twisted parody of an RPG/3D platformer, is to get him sober again (observe "gameplay footage 4" from Gamespot).

In the process of quietening our intrepid some-what anti-hero, you find various creatures of your native forest kidnapped by "some Panther" (who alledgedly has a thing for duct-tape); the local villain. In a vague effort to restore harmony to this obviously disrupted world; Conker attempts returning to his bed (to sleep off the previous night's status), and a "quickie" with a "certain Lady-friend".

Consequently, our Conk takes it upon himself to free the hapless woodland-denizens and kick some bottom in the mean time, all with a hangover of doom (and a foul temper to boot) lurking over him.

What a guy... What a stud!... What a b*st*rd!

Whether Conk's sober for his second outing is slightly moot, as there's a new evil lurking around, in the form of the "Tediz" [pronounced " Teddies "]. These guys are intent on not only attempting to finish what a certain ominous Feline started, but elimination of the entire forest (along with everyone in it) wouldn't go amiss either!

From this point, we see our Conk' take over as head of the resistance movement, that develops against The Tediz.

Armed with a few choice "shooters", including five types of grenades; a band of mates (well, the rest of the woodland army!) with, depending on the setting, whatever various vehicles and machinery are at hand, you play as Conker; and it's up to you to stop the Tediz threat!...

No pressure though...

To take the burden of boredom off your collective of clenched shoulders even further, Rareware (the Developer of both this and it's prequel) have bundled a copy of the first game in with the second! "Bargain!", it is supposed to be; sort of, I say. The "revamped content", straight from the N64, had better not change the narrative, but still had look like it was worth it! I don't want to have to degrade my respect just "coz it looks like they bunged it in where they could" (©Nick Sizer 2005); specially since the makers of the Xbox were publishing this title...

If there could be a comparison with another title; I'd have to use "Command and Conquer: Renegade" for the PC. Whether Conker has equal indoors/outdoors combat-involvement with this PC title remains to be seen.